Charmed

I just got back from a family vacation to Hong Kong, and man, I am tired! I feel like my feet have walked the earth, and then some. But I have also returned content and inspired.
I know this post should logically be about all the wonderful sights and sounds of HK, but my take away from this trip was something else, my take away was that people are charming. Simple, yet true. And yes, it took a trip to HK to remind me of that.
For those of you who don't know, I work from home. This somewhat (completely) limits my social interaction. I chat with my colleagues online constantly, but I don't really meet anyone in person. And living in a city where I don't have many friends doesn't help either. So, when I was in HK, I was pleasantly surprised. I was surprised by how charming people (men) can be, I was surprised by how far a genuine smile can take you, and I was surprised by how refreshing social interaction can actually be. To be very honest, I had completely forgotten what it was like, and, boy, am I glad to rediscover it!
I met a charming purser on my flight from Mumbai who kept referring to me as Miss Pradhan. It wasn't a big thing, but it made me feel nice, it reminded me of my own reference to Miss Austen, and I felt the pleasant feeling you get when you're around, what we term, 'a nice guy'.
When I was in the actual city, I was attended to by a very knowledgeable tour guide who was so fascinated by my university coat of arms (on my uni hoodie) that she just had to photograph it to show her kids.
At the gamblers' paradise of Macau, I met an old Chinese lady who tried to explain the workings of a slot machine to me, even though she didn't speak any English! It was a hilarious yet unforgettable moment!
And then there were the chivalrous men, they seemed to be all around! They were holding doors open, letting me get in the elevator ahead of them and smiling, what seemed to be, their most charming smiles! I was ecstatic! Yes, good manners get me ecstatic, that's just who I am.
So, there you have it, even though I did all the touristy things there were to do in HK, and I had a whale of a time at Disneyland, what this holiday did was just remind me of how charming and enigmatic people can be. It reminded me that I need to try harder to, well, have a life, and not sink into the comfort of being unsocial, and most of all it reminded me that a charming, pleasant smile once encountered, it can be hard to forget ;)

Hollow epiphanies

"How can you say you don't like the Hollow Epiphanies?" asked Sloan, "They're the best indie band in the city!"
"I just find their music to be a little weird", replied Eric as he sipped on his second cappuccino.
The sun was just about to set and their al fresco setting at Wendy's, their favourite coffee place, was close to perfect. There was a cool breeze going about, people walking past lazily, and a strong scent of cinnamon in the air.
"They are not weird", continued Sloan "They're really good. You need to give them a chance, see them live."
"Ok ok, relax, yes, let's see them on Sunday." conceded Eric. "I was going to go anyway.. with Jill and the others", there was a hesitation in his voice as he mentioned Jill.
Sloan's head jerked up, she spilled some of her latte on the table. "What do you mean you're already going with Jill and the others?" She didn't raise her voice but you could sense the outrage in her tone.
"Um, well, the thing is, Jill asked me two days ago and I said yes."
"But they're my favourite band!"
"Well, I didn't know that. Anyway, how does it matter? We can all go together."
"How does it matter?" her voice was getting louder, "How does it matter that you don't know who my favourite band is anymore? How does it matter if you make plans with other people to go see them? Really Eric, you really don't know how that matters?"
"Sloan, relax. I didn't know, ok? I didn't do it on purpose to slight you or anything! I honestly didn't know."
"You know what, Eric?" she stood up as she continued "I actually wish you'd done it on purpose to slight me. At least that way, you'd be actively thinking of me."
"What are you talking about, Sloan?" he stood up as well and tried reaching for her hand, "Just sit, and calm down".
She pulled her hand away, "I don't want to stay calm, I've had enough of staying calm. I've been calm all this time as I've watched you forget me. Calm, as I took on a supporting actor role in your life. Calm, as you've slowly moved away."
"Sloan, I'm here, right next to you, how can I have moved away?"
"I'm really surprised that you haven't noticed it. Then again, would you have even bothered to do anything if you had? You've changed, Eric. You're a different person now that you're constantly hanging out with 'Jill and the others'."
"In what way?"
People around were now starting to stare.
"In the way that you're so much in love with your new friends that you don't see anyone else. You love the way they excuse your incessant smoking, they way they please your vanity by looking up to you, and they way they disguise throwing their life away as an 'alternative lifestyle'. You lap it up. You don't see anyone or anything else. You don't see your best friend who's going through a difficult break-up and wishes you were there to talk to him. You don't see your mum who's finding it hard to deal with all her kids growing up. You don't even see your own dog, who seems so much happier living at my place!"
"And what about you, Sloan? You forgot to mention that I don't see you. And isn't that what this is really about? You can't stand that I might actually find someone more interesting than you?"
She stared at him, speechless, with an all-consuming sadness in her eyes.
"Goodbye, Eric." With that, she picked up her bag and walked away.
Eric stood there, watching her leave, and thought in panic "What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?"

Did Sloan walk away because she couldn't believe that her friend would think her to be so selfish? Or did she know somewhere, deep down, that he had hit the nail on the head?
Did Eric panic because he realised that he really had changed and had wronged someone who truly cared about him? Or was he just scared that he had lost his safety net, his backup plan?
These questions, my dear reader, I leave, for your imaginations to answer.

PS: Image credits go to Sneha Mahajan who really needs her own blog so that I can post the link here!
PPS: Post originally published at Tales in my head

44 Scotland Street - a relaxing read over coffee

Title: 44 Scotland Street

Author: Alexander McCall Smith

Genre: Fiction

Publisher: Hachette Book Publishing

Price: INR 280 on Flipkart.com

44 Scotland Street is the first volume in a six-part (and counting) series of fiction books written by Alexander McCall Smith in the style of a serialised novel* for The Scotsman. Set amongst the hustle bustle of Scotland Street near Drummond Place (Edinburgh), the novel mainly revolves around Pat, a 20 year old on her second gap year.

We begin the tale as Pat moves in with Bruce, a self-obsessed, blatantly handsome realty surveyor living at… you guessed it, 44 Scotland Street! Within a few pages, Pat is already confused over her feelings for Bruce while he seems to have assumed in advance, that she will inevitably fall for him. While this love saga evolves, we also follow Pat’s neighbour, Bertie, a five-year-old saxophone-playing, Italian-speaking, latte-sipping child prodigy who is having problems at his school because, as his over-ambitious, pushy and hoity mother Irene thinks, he isn’t being given the attention he deserves by his teacher. On the floor above Bertie and Irene, lives Domenica Macdonald, a well-travelled and well-informed anthropologist who befriends Pat while giving her love advice and introducing her to Edinburgh’s art elite. As the story progresses, Smith attempts to keep the audience engaged (successfully at times, and unsuccessfully at others) by creating a miniature climax at the end of every chapter as required of a serialised novel.

He also endeavours to confer upon us a healthy dose of psychology through characters like Dr Fairbairn and Irene as they discuss Betie’s problems in relation to Klein, Freud and other psychoanalysts. Then there’s the character of Big Lou who is obviously created just to bestow the reader with the author’s views on literature and philosophy. All this is definitely interesting but quite prolonged at times when you just want to know ‘what happens next?’ It is also obvious that the author has written these chapters on days when he’s lacked inspiration to attend to the central storyline. Despite this, what Smith does best is, develop the characters in such detail and depth that you are willing to get through a few eventless chapters to see where their lives are headed next. The major plot and the sub-plots unfold at a slow and steady pace sticking to, what I presume was the author’s intentional theme, of a relaxing read over coffee. 

For those who’ve visited Edinburgh, Smith’s descriptions of the city’s various boroughs will invoke a pleasant sense of nostalgia while the uninitiated will no doubt, find themselves better acquainted with the beautiful capital of Scotland. Smith also, engagingly comments upon the various cliques and clans, from the pretentious art lovers to the tree hugging pseudo-hippies to the trust-fund babies, prevalent not only in Edinburgh, but in almost every town across the globe.

The author’s writing style is an interesting blend of humorous reflection and descriptive insight, making the book an easy and enjoyable read for a wide range of audiences. Personally, I found myself slipping in and out of Smith’s world quite effortlessly without too much involvement but always willing to return to spend a pleasant few hours at 44 Scotland Street. Overall, I would recommend the novel to those looking for a leisurely read but if you do decide to skip it, you won’t miss out on much.

* A serialised novel is usually published in daily instalments while the author develops the story in as it progress before the reader.

All At Sea Playlist

There are some days, usually Sunday afternoons, or sometimes after work, when all I want to do is shut myself in my room with a glass of Glenlivet, close the blinds, switch off my phone and be "All at sea" with music and my thoughts.
If you know what I'm talking about, or you're just looking for some good music, here are five tracks that definitely ought to be on your playlist:

Statutory Warning: Please do not listen to this list if you're not in a mood to get slightly depressed!!

1) Jamie Cullum - All at sea (Obviously): This is my absolute go-to song. I wake up to this song as my alarm and it's usually the last thing I play at night. Jamie's piano playing is flawless, as always, and the lyrics get me nodding along, thinking 'yes, this makes so much sense'.

2) Paolo Nutini - Autumn leaves: This track is hauntingly beautiful. Written by Paolo about his grandfather, you'd seriously have to be a monster to not get emotional when you hear this song! It never ceases to surprise me how his voice seems to belong to someone from the Sinatra era, I can imagine him crooning away at a dingy jazz pub, then smoking cubans and drinking all night long with his band mates.

3) Norah Jones - Don't know why: A breath-taking beauty with a voice to match (even surpass, perhaps), Miss Jones is a classic choice for this list. This particular song takes me to a sultry Sunday afternoon spent reminiscing about lost love, lost opportunities and lost friends.

4) Foo Fighters - Home: This song is a relatively recent addition. It's the final track off their 2007 album 'Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace' (make sure you check it out). I've been a Ghrol fan since his Nirvana days and honestly, his talent always leaves me completely in awe of him. Ghrol's usually gruff voice takes a peaceful tone on this track and the soulful melody (the violin, the piano, such sheer bliss!) is just what the doctor ordered when you want to miss home, and generally feel humbled.

5) Jamie Cullum - Gran Torino: To complete the circle, and also because he's so awesome, I'm back to Jamie. Gran Torino is an old-world song, it's got a nice, clear, piano root accompanied by Jamie's honest voice. It takes me away into a classic movie full of suits, big cars, cigars, bitter dreams, and somehow, a very skewed, yet real, reality (I haven't seen Gran Torino, the movie, by the way, I've heard it's good though). For me, this really is the perfect 'alone' (not 'lonely') song.

There you have it, hope you found some new and interesting music on that list, or just re-discovered your old favourites. Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions for this list!

A working girl's Bandra

Abundant pubs and cafes, quaint churches and a whole lot of shopping: these are just the few of the things I didn't quite experience while living in Bandra. A working girl's Bandra is slightly different from the picture we usually see, and it looks something like this:

At the start of the year, I lived as Paying Guest near Hill Road, famed for its cheap shopping, something that I never had a chance to sample. I did, however, watch other people, hoards of them, enjoy themselves as they shopped for brightly coloured tank tops, outrageously kitschy flip-flops and the infamous 'Being Human' tee-shirts, on my way home from work. This was my life in Bandra, enjoying the sights of what other people experienced, and I'm not complaining, it was invigorating in its own way. I'd head out every morning to take in a heady floral fragrance emanating from the pretty little bungalows all around only to be slapped in the face by the fumes of an auto rickshaw zooming past. "No problem, enjoy the moment" I'd say, and smile and walk on.

On the short walk to the main road, I'd encounter charming dogs being taken around usually, not by their 'master' but by their dog-walker. Being a dog-fan, these little guys (or girls, it was difficult to tell without proper inspection) would make my day as they passed me by with a goofy grin on their face, tails wagging happily in the air while sniffing every inch of the sidewalk in a crazed fervour. That was of course until I'd inevitably step into some dog poo and have to go back to change my footwear, resulting in me being late for work. "All worth it", I'd tell myself.

On my way back from office, if I wasn't watching the frenzy of Hill Road from the backseat of the cab, I'd watch the well-groomed little old ladies and the chivalrous looking old men as they leaned on each other and made their way to church with a quiet dignity. There was always an intrigue about the looming edifices of churches, these sacred houses of God that gave off an air of old-world beauty. More than just places of worship, churches in Bandra seemed to be communal hubs, thriving with the spirited activity of their inhabitants.

Other communal hubs that I missed out on were the ubiquitous cafes and restaurants that plague Bandra like a friendly virus. I did make it to a few of them over weekends but there were too many to take in all together during my short stay. I did notice that though numerous, each cafe usually managed to maintain a different vibe, whether it was the clientele, the food, the service or the decor, they all seem slightly differently, yet gave off this 'Bandraness' about them that was hard to define and noticed mostly only by 'non-Bandraites'.

When not at a cafe, my weekends would be spent either at Pune, or hidden away in my room at my 'PG accommodation', another Bandra institution. Many friends had advised me against staying in a PG place owing to the "overly-strict landladies". "They'll keep a curfew, they'll pry into your private life and most importantly, no boys will be allowed to visit you!". My parents, on the other hand, thought these to be the best reasons to have me stay as a PG. Not really bothered about either side of the argument, I took up a place that suited me best because of its location, the facility of an all-day maid and gave me two of the cutest dogs in the world as roommates. I was one of the lucky few who didn't have to stick to a curfew, my landlady did however, go into my room whenever she felt like 'tidying up' and there were strict rules for using the kitchen. Even though I had my own room, it didn't feel like I had much privacy, yet I stuck to my place. At the end of a long, tiring day, it was nice to have a 'home' to come back to and fellow PG girls will understand the importance and bliss of such a feeling.

Looking back on my stay in Bandra, it feels like it might've been slightly uneventful and I might've not experienced all that there was to experience there. However, I did see a lot of interesting sights that will always make me want to go back, and in that way, I'm glad to have experienced a different yet intriguing working girl's Bandra.

Also posted on: A Girl in Mumbai

Unpretty Days

No matter how confident we appear, how high our heels are or how shiny our hair is, there are days in every girl’s life when she feels ‘unpretty’. Societal conditioning often leads us to believe that we must achieve this ‘perfect’ body image that has been placed in front of us in adverts, magazines and on TV, in order to get ahead in our jobs and get with the ‘right’ men. So, on days when the pressure is too much, when a boy hints that he doesn’t like your hair or when another girl sneers at your new dress, we bring out the ice cream tubs, put on baggy sweatpants and curl up in bed, unwilling to face the cruel world outside. For a few lucky girls, these days are a rare occurrence, but for most of us (I hope, because I really don’t want to feel like the only loser who goes through this) these annoyingly depressing thoughts get us down periodically. I think the worst comes when our ‘time of the month’ decides to clash with these days of ‘unpretty’. Bloated stomachs that feel like giant bouncy castles, tired eyes that seem droopy and faces that look like blown up balloons are too much for anyone to handle! I usually deal with this by re-watching Bridget Jones for the millionth time and fooling myself into believing that Colin Firth and Hugh Grant are not unachievable dreams.

The point is, we could all use a little pick-me-up on days when we’re down, so here is my list of top five empowering songs to play when you’re feeling ‘unpretty’ 

1) Unpretty – TLC (c’mon, you saw that coming!): These three ladies from back in the day got it right with the video and the song. Perfect for going from down and depressed, to hopeful and contemplative about your own perception of the ‘perfect’ body image.

2) Beautiful – Christina Aguilera: The pop princess of yesteryear’s appeal to believe that “you are beautiful, no matter what they say” actually feels sincere and it’s somehow comforting to know that a girl as stunning as Ms Aguilera also goes through this harrowing ordeal of self-doubt.

3)  I am not my hair – India Arie: This is such a nostalgic and beautiful song! Ms Arie sings it right when she says it’s not about her hair, it’s what’s inside that matters. So, don’t worry about the pouf, or the frizziness or even the flat head days, wear your hair down in defiance or scrunch it into a carefree bun. If they don’t see you for the awesome person that you are, they aren’t worth the pain.

4) Daughters – John Mayer: Okay, so I know this song has nothing to do with body image but isn’t it wonderful to think that a bad boy like John Mayer is trying to figure women out and appreciate them for just being themselves? It gives you this unnatural hope that John Mayer type hotties will love and cherish a girl blessed with a ‘good good heart’. Now that, certainly picks me up ;)

5) Put your records on – Corinne Bailey Rae: This is such an all-round feel-good song! The video is brilliant in itself, filled with warm tones and comforting images. The young Ms Rae doesn’t sound preachy, she sounds optimistic, encouraging and just down right helpful when she sings “you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow”.

There you have it, a small list to help you feel better on ‘unpretty’ days. This is obviously just a temporary solution, the sooner we learn to love our bodies just as they are, and the sooner men learn to do the same, the better we shall all be. Don’t you agree?

Five starter tips for students going abroad

The prospect of studying abroad can seem quite daunting to many of us. Students can spend endless hours online looking for tips, tricks and guides to survival. The important thing to remember is to keep all the finer points of the soon-to-come experience in mind and welcome it with open arms. Think of all the new friends you’ll make, new sights you’ll see and the new learning you’re soon to have. To help you cope with the initial stages of studying abroad, here are a few starter tips to keep in mind:

1)    Be social

During the first few weeks of college, everybody is usually very friendly and social since everyone’s looking to find their clique. Chances are that your classmates, hall mates, etc will invite you to several gatherings and outings. Try to be adventurous and accept as many invites as you can (and want). The initial stages are the easiest to get to know people and find friends. While you’re abroad it is more important than ever to have a strong support system, a group of friends who are there to look out for you and make your experience more fun. Students abroad often suffer from bouts of homesickness periodically and it’s imperative to have friends who will get you through those difficult days. And who knows, if you’re lucky like me, you’ll probably meet some amazing people and find a few new best friends.

2)    Get involved

Your university is bound to have a range of societies and clubs ready to take on freshers. You might even have a societies’ fair during induction week where all the societies on campus will put up stalls and encourage you to join them. Make sure you go to the fair or at least read up on all the different societies, you’re certain to find a few that take your fancy. From bungee jumping, to Harry Potter appreciation, to the Indian society, they cover a whole spectrum of interests and are a great way to meet new people, network and unwind after a long day of studying. Membership is usually a nominal amount that covers you for the entire year and gives you access to all the society’s events. So, get involved with your favourite society, it doesn’t take up much time and it makes for a great escape from the daily grind of studies.

3)    Be inquisitive

Considering that the main reason for studying abroad is, well, ‘studying’; aim to get the most out of your education. Professors abroad generally tend to be quite informal and open to discussion about the subject they’re teaching. Go ahead and be a bit of a geek, ask questions and get all your doubts clarified without any hesitation. After all, you are paying a lot for this degree so you should make sure it’s worth your while. Developing a good rapport with your professors is also a good way of networking. The job market abroad is still pretty tight so if you’ve done your bit and let your professor know your capabilities, he/she is more likely to go the extra mile to help you out with the job seeking process post your degree.

4)    Get the complete experience

Studying abroad is not just about the classroom experience, it’s so much more, it’s about experiencing a new life. Use your spare time to explore and find the route less travelled. Sample the local delicacies, learn about the local culture and consider chatting with the cab drivers/ shopkeepers about their way of life. Get to know the local students and discover how different/similar your lives are. It’s these little things that’ll eventually turn into unforgettable memories you’ll reminisce over later and hopefully make your studying abroad one of the best experiences of your life!

5)    Don’t forget to call home

It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of things when you’re abroad. There will be a lot to learn and a lot to experience. Enjoy your time there but be a responsible son/daughter and make sure you don’t for get to call home often. Sending their kids away for studies or work is usually a harrowing experience for parents so they’ll appreciate being updated regularly about your new life. Getting an economical calling card/ phone plan is simple, easy and it’s bound to give your family some well-deserved peace of mind!


Note: The author enjoyed studying abroad for a Masters degree in Marketing at the University of St Andrews, UK.